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  1. #1
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    Technical jokes relating to cars

    technical jokes relating to full size automobiles.
    Matthew 7:7

  2. #2
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. Wildman4910's Avatar
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    Don't forget to change out the headlight oil & turn signal coolant, they help the cadillac converter running good.
    Look out for the tree/crunch!

    LiPo? Naw NITRO!!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildman4910 View Post
    Don't forget to change out the headlight oil & turn signal coolant, they help the cadillac converter running good.
    Ahh love it mate
    Slugs are just naturally aspirated snails

  4. #4
    RC Champion dave00bear's Avatar
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    My buddy had a bad muffler bearing, and came over to use my tools, but being I'm right handed, He had to go find some left hand wrenches. (lame I know....just woke-up)
    My previous sig conflicted with a forum policy.

  5. #5
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    Not really a joke, but an anecdote. Many years ago I saw some lady trying to add quart of motor oil...to her gas tank! I said, "WHOA, HOLD UP LADY," and showed her where the engine was...
    Make it idiot-proof and along comes a better idiot

  6. #6
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    710 fluid is better for the engine than oil. It's the secret the racing teams use. I have some spare but expensive.
    Google search trumps Wiki. Refer to user guide.

  7. #7
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    Don't forget to rotate the wiper blade's.
    *Proud Husband of United state's Air Force wife.*

  8. #8
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    Well today I figured out my piston return springs in my truck are bad........ That sound expensive.
    Hahaha you can get a lot of people with this one!

  9. #9
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    Oh and you can't forget to grease the steering wheel so it turns easy.. ( that ones lame )

  10. #10
    RC Turnbuckle Jr.
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    I got sohc by a dohc
    humay has left the building, peace.

  11. #11
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    Don't forget to refill your exhaust fluid tank, or your truck will loose all power! Oh wait, that is a real thing now. But you should always grease your canooter valve every 3000 miles.
    Rusty 2.5R,T-max 2.5 & 3.3,Summit VXL Nitro 4-tec

  12. #12
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rjm2519's Avatar
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    My brother in law to his nephew, "You painted your car!"

    Nephew, "Yeah, it was an expensive paint job"

    BIL, "really? How Much?"

    Nehew, " $4 a can"

    That really happened too!

    My favorite thing to ask people when they say their car wont start, "Did you check the air in the tires?"
    Donít handicap children by making life easy

  13. #13
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    a few years ago at farm-n-fleet there was a younger fella at the counter of the auto department. i asked him if they have any blinker fluid, and a size 9 muffler belt. he was a pretty smart fella cause he caught it right away.
    I'm not krazy. My mother had me tested.

  14. #14
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. harry697's Avatar
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    True story. Years ago, a guy I worked with had a problem with his car back firing through the carb. He took it to a local mechanic who happened to be of Spanish decent. Turns out his coil was bad, but due to the mechanic's heavy accent, my buddy thought he said that he needed a new quail.

    So he comes to work the next day, asking everybody if they ever heard of this "quail" that was causing his car to back fire through the carb. We found the question itself to be hilarious. He also asked the shop manager about it and he said to call NAPA and ask. In the mean time, our manager called NAPA and gave them a heads-up about the situation. So when this guy finally calls, they are ready for him. The guy at NAPA says "Yeah, sounds like a bad quail. Is it back firing through the secondaries? Not sure which one you need, but we have a box of them here that you'll have to search through".

    He finally figured out that everybody he spoke to that day was in on the joke once he got to NAPA and there was no box-o-quails to be found.

  15. #15
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. harry697's Avatar
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    Here's another one. We hired a kid at a shop I used to work at. He was basically a gopher. Wash cars, empty trash cans, sweep floors, etc. Well one day the boss had him wash the tow truck. He was drying it off after he got done and one of the techs goes over and tells him that he better dry the cables on the boom of the tow truck. The boss was gonna be mad if those cables got rusted. So the kid extends the cables all the way out and starts running down them with the chamois. Needless to say, our boss came out screaming at the kid for ruining his new chamois. It looked like an old dirty shop rag covered in grease when he was done.


    Ok, one more for now. (I have tone of stories) We had another helper that we had to break-in. One of the body men tells the kid to hurry up and go get him some lacquer thinner from the paint shop. He gives the kid a styrofoam cup and tells him to fill it up with thinner and bring it back. If you've ever used lacquer thinner, you probably know it eats through styrofaom fairly quickly. So by the time this kid fills the cup and walks back to the body shop, not only is there no thinner, but there's also no bottom left to the cup.
    Last edited by harry697; 03-27-2013 at 05:19 PM.

  16. #16
    Marshal Dadx2mj's Avatar
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    Something a bunch of friends and I learned many years ago. We were in high school auto shop and decided to pull a prank on a guy who always got picked on. He had an old Nova with a small block Chevy with what was then a standard ignition system with points and an external coil. We took the coil wire out and replaced it with a piece of rubber vacuum hose with the boots from a coil wire on it. It looked no different and we wanted to see how long it would take him to figure out why his car would not start. All of us were shocked when he got in his car started it up and drove away. As we came to learn even something like rubber will carry current IF it is the path of least resistance. Has long as the rubber hose is not touching something metal or more conductive it worked as a coil wire.For many years after that when I was working as a mechanic I made many a bets that I could start a car with rubber hose as a coil wire, most mechanics think it wont work. Often I would make a bet if I can start the car with the rubber hose the person I was betting had to kill the motor by pulling the rubber hose acting as a col wire. If they do this they become the path of least resistance and get a nice shock LOL
    BlindMan Racing
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  17. #17
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. pavmentsurfer's Avatar
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    I dont have a joke, but I think it IS a joke every time I see a person with a car on the side of the road looking under the hood. Seriously, its been 2 decades since a stalled car could be fixed on the side of the road by an every day joe. What do they think they'll find under there, a great big on/off switch that accidentally got bumped to off causing their car to stall or quit? You see some guy in a 3 piece suit with the hood up on his Benz... there is NOTHING you can do under there dude... dont even bother lifting the hood. Nothing to see here.

  18. #18
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. harry697's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavmentsurfer View Post
    I dont have a joke, but I think it IS a joke every time I see a person with a car on the side of the road looking under the hood. Seriously, its been 2 decades since a stalled car could be fixed on the side of the road by an every day joe. What do they think they'll find under there, a great big on/off switch that accidentally got bumped to off causing their car to stall or quit? You see some guy in a 3 piece suit with the hood up on his Benz... there is NOTHING you can do under there dude... dont even bother lifting the hood. Nothing to see here.
    Now that I think about it, that is pretty funny! Nowadays when you open the hood, you won't even see an engine. Just a bunch of plastic shrouds that hide the engine.

  19. #19
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. JimmyNeutron's Avatar
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    Usually the first 10 minutes of every job is removing all the plastic.
    That stuff gets tossed on all of my vehicles.

    I have sent a few noob's out for a bolt stretcher... because the one we have is not long enough.
    Whatever it is I just typed... could be wrong.

  20. #20
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rjm2519's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmie Neutron View Post
    Usually the first 10 minutes of every job is removing all the plastic.
    That stuff gets tossed on all of my vehicles.

    I have sent a few noob's out for a bolt stretcher... because the one we have is not long enough.
    I kind of like all the plastic covers, makes the engine bay look neat and organized, of course it only takes 30 seconds to remove the cover on the wife's. Mine is cover-less sadly!
    Donít handicap children by making life easy

  21. #21
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. DiggerPede's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmie Neutron View Post
    I have sent a few noob's out for a bolt stretcher... because the one we have is not long enough.
    We do the same thing to 'green' hands at work. Send them for bolt strechers, sky hooks, & blue steam! That's just the few things to get them started on their first day.

    ===

    You pull up to a gas station and the attendant goes: "Tire go flat?", Nope the other 3 just swelled up on me!! -Jeff Foxworthy
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  22. #22
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. thedreadedend's Avatar
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    The Gremlin, Vega, pinto, chevy sprint, yaris, smart car, some of my favorite car "jokes"
    I'm not a hatchet man! I'm a maggot!

  23. #23
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rjm2519's Avatar
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    What about the 80s cavalier "sport" pretty good joke, or the cadillac cimarron great joke! 307 rocket! 305 HO!
    Donít handicap children by making life easy

  24. #24
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. Wolfslash16's Avatar
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    If you can't Dodge it, Ram it! I'll come up with more!
    Summit Rustler Sl2sh TMaxx Pnde Slayer Sl4sh

  25. #25
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    FieroMan121|SPC LiPo powered|Vintage TRX collector

  26. #26
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    It's funny, my dad has a 2013 Camaro ZL1 and a 1964 Monte Carlo and the Camaro is so sophisticated compared to the Monte we couldn't even find the air intake!
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FoXyvaPSnV...-Camaro-13.JPG
    How do you "Slash" without a sword?

  27. #27
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    Here is a pic
    How do you "Slash" without a sword?

  28. #28
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. Nitronaught's Avatar
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    Remember to use left handed lug nuts for the left side of the car.... Eh hem..... On some older imports this is actually true ....


    Now what side is actually the "Left" side of a car, is it when ou are facing it or when you are driving it?
    Founder of H.U.A.
    I spent What??

  29. #29
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. JimmyNeutron's Avatar
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    I have worked on a few SuperDuty's with left handed lug nuts... glad they don't do that anymore!
    Whatever it is I just typed... could be wrong.

  30. #30
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    Lol working on a super duty is like working on a space ship gota love the HUEI system

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nitronaught View Post
    Remember to use left handed lug nuts for the left side of the car.... Eh hem..... On some older imports this is actually true ....


    Now what side is actually the "Left" side of a car, is it when ou are facing it or when you are driving it?
    I believe 64 and older chrysler products are that way. I snapped off a lug on an old doge valiant before I took a good look at the threads and realized what I did.
    DJ

    Rustler,Slash 4X4, 1/10 Rally

  32. #32
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    dont know if this is funny kia

    kid:look at that kia smoke on the side of the road!
    dad:aww man smoke... i guess that kia got kia'ed



    killed in action.....nothing to do with the brand just came to me
    summit /mustang /stampede-2s spc lipo

  33. #33
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    It's not exactly a new one.

    Mechanic, "I couldn't fix the brakes so I made the horn louder."

  34. #34
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    Something my grandpa told me,

    So you see this really nice car and you go up and ask, "Hey what is that? A Kia?" "No actually its a Jaguar.. >_<"
    MM|2200kv 2WD LCG Slash - MM2|2650kv LCG Slash 4x4

  35. #35
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    At school we had a car that the battery was dead. i told the kid to ask auto body if they had a double positive battery lol

    Then we had a car on the lift and there was a little puddle of water on the floor because the car was outside, i said to the kid next to me, " O shoot the kinibler valve is messed up and leaking" the kid went to the teacher and told him

    The we had a can of carb cleaner. i told a kid we need the same exact can but throttle body cleaner, ( i new we didnt have any)... the kid was gone for 20 minutes.

    than i told a kid we need aircondition fluid for the tail light and he was gone asking the teacher where it was lol

  36. #36
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    Don't forget to rotate the air in your tires. I'm a mechanic at a Ford dealership with a Mazda dealership attached and always get a kick out of asking a new parts guys to look up a set of "rings" on a 2005 Mazda Rx-8. The Mazda trick also works at local parts houses. lol

  37. #37
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. harry697's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hwdriver View Post
    Don't forget to rotate the air in your tires. I'm a mechanic at a Ford dealership with a Mazda dealership attached and always get a kick out of asking a new parts guys to look up a set of "rings" on a 2005 Mazda Rx-8. The Mazda trick also works at local parts houses. lol
    If you're gonna go as far as to put new rings in that RX-8, you might as well do the valves while you're at it.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by harry697 View Post
    If you're gonna go as far as to put new rings in that RX-8, you might as well do the valves while you're at it.
    Lol definitely.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hwdriver View Post
    Don't forget to rotate the air in your tires. I'm a mechanic at a Ford dealership with a Mazda dealership attached and always get a kick out of asking a new parts guys to look up a set of "rings" on a 2005 Mazda Rx-8. The Mazda trick also works at local parts houses. lol
    How about gettiung a price for 2 rotors???

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by harry697 View Post
    If you're gonna go as far as to put new rings in that RX-8, you might as well do the valves while you're at it.
    Nice I Like That!!!!!!! lol

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