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  1. #1
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    LD relationships.

    I would like a little advice on how to make them "easier" because I never thought they could be this hard.
    I'm 16. Now before you judge me on being a teenager and and how I am to young to have a girlfriend and that teen relationships don't work at least hear me out then feel free too judge.
    In September of 2011 I became friends with a girl in my class, we talked a bit the year before but not much. Well we became quite good friends over the next few months did a few school projects together texted lots and for me this was my first female friend in a long time I am that shy kid who doesn't talk to anyone. In November I started to like her and we would flirt and stuff. By December I asked her out.. She said yes. She is my first girlfriend so we took things slow we never held hands much or anything I was so nervous lol but I got over it within a few weeks for the next few months we started to get really close we told eachother pretty much everything she became my best friend just as much as my girlfriend. For the first time in my life I could be myself around someone. And same for her. By April we were doing good a happy couple. Then one day she seemed sad but I didn't say anything but it continued for a few days then I asked her. She was reluctant to tell me at first but she told me that she was going to be moving at the end of the month. It was quite a shock to me but we both agreed we were going to give this long distance thing a shot she was moving a little over an hour and a half away. We were supposed to be able to see eachother one every three weeks can't be that bad right? Well the first weeks started ok but then the fights and arguments started we both realized it so we had to get some ground rules before it got out of hand we promised to tell each other everything, and talk as much as possible or texting lots and skypeing everyday if possible, so we knew how and what was happening with eachothers lives it was working fairly well. June rolls around and we have been seeing each the every 3 weeks or so. It was hard but not terrible. Summertime comes we go camping and we end up camping 5 mins away from eachother we would hang out together we had our families over they shared a few "pops" it was quite nice.
    She ends up working there for the summer and we end up in a huge fight, it's a bit to personal to share what happened but It wasn't easy on me. After a few days things were getting better I went home but because she was working she stayed at the campground which was just under an hour away from my house so I would go up on afternoons every week or two she came to my place for weekends. In August she came camping with me for a week we had my whole family there she met all of them they loved her and she loved them. It was great. But then school started again and instead of three weeks it was 5 and 6 weeks which was super hard then to top it all off I got a acute severe liver problem in Mid november long story short I was in the hospital for 5 days, wasn't aloud to do anything couldn't see my girl till just before Christmas but I was still limited we couldn't go out for a movie or supper date but I still got to see her. Even through all this she hadn't left my side. I got flowers sent to her on our 1 year etc even as I was getting better It was 4 and 5 weeks without seeing her. And it was so hard. Can't put it into words. I just seen her this past weekend. We are still together through all this and I love her very much an she loves me. We have been through tons together and we haven't given up and won't but I would like some advice from everyone I can on making it easier on us would be greatly appreciated.
    And if anything else you want to know just ask!
    Tyler



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    Last edited by tyler13; 02-19-2013 at 12:13 AM.
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  2. #2
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rjm2519's Avatar
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    LD relationships.

    The truth of the matter is noone can tell you how your relationship is going to work. They are all different, because people are all different, seems to me that what you got going is working for you and your lady. Main this is that your both happy.

    Me and my wife have never had a conventional relationship so to speak, and I work a 223 schedule on nights now. So we go days without seeing each other, but it is what we have to do for now. Just think of it this way, its not forever and it gets easier with time. What will be will be, when it starts feeling like work then you know its not the right thing to be doing.
    Last edited by rjm2519; 02-19-2013 at 01:08 AM.
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  3. #3
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    rj is right it will be a struggle but bolth of you need to be all in for it to work bud your gonna fight but its up to you bolth that the fights are short and not overly aggrivated

  4. #4
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. Nitronaught's Avatar
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    I had a couple (that's 2) long distance relationships in my life (I'm 49 now). My first was when I was 18, I found we learned a lot about each other as long as we were open and truthful about everything that was going on in our lives. Of coarse then we were young and new that we wanted to experience more and that our relationship was coming to an end.

    No regrets, we visited each other 2 times per year, one time she would come here, the other I would go there.... I have nothing but fond memories.

    My 2nd relationship L.D., happened about 12 years ago. We wrote, emailed, called, chatted online for 2 years. Again, honesty and being open with each other we really learned a lot about each other. But at this time in life I was much older and much more experienced in the ways of the world and ready for more... I drove across the country and married that one 9 years ago and have 2 fantastic boys who are my pride and joy as well....

    How did it work? No different than before really. Honesty, respect, communicate and understanding... Take your time, over time you can tell if things the other one is saying just does not add up or it does...

    1. Make sure you have a calling plan to support the relationship.
    2. Write letters or emails. Writing gives you time to think about what you say.
    3. Make no conditions on the relationship that ou aren't prepared to do as well.
    4. Enjoy the time you have. No need to rush anything


    Not all work out, heck my first marriage didn't, but I found the right one this time...
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  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone. We are happy just looking for advice from more experienced people.


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  6. #6
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    I was in a LD relationship with a girl that I met in college. She lived in Massachussetts and I lived in NJ.. It worked for a couple of years as long as we got to see each other on a regular basis.. every couple of weeks.. She eventually moved to New York City and we saw each other all the time.. Even though it didn't work out in the long run, it wasn't bad either..
    My son is currently in a relationship with a girl that goes to college about 1.5 hours away during the school year and lives in Colorado during the rest of the year. They see each other every other weekend and have been for 2 years now. Honestly I'm surprised its worked out as well as it has and they are very happy together and very compatible. Due to modern technology they talk all the time.. Text, cell and skype.. even facebook.. He says its no big deal as she has tons of studying during the week and he does as well.. College is demanding.. my only advise to Tyler is ride it out and see where it goes.. I have a couple of friends that me in High school and are still married 30 years later.. You never know unless you try!
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  7. #7
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    Thanks cenracer. We talk as much as possible. We are doing good. But I wanted to hear other opinions and stuff.


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  8. #8
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. kdvanb's Avatar
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    LOL .. You guys will laugh at me..

    Im 13.
    I have had ALOT of girlfriends..
    My first girlfriend I still like..
    We dated in Grade 6
    I went to a different school about 20 minutes away
    I dated her twice in grade 7 too..

    I always seem to fall back to her
    I still like her
    Last time I seen here was in may

    I think she likes me too

    Hmm let's see I had 8 girlfriends in grade 7 LOL
    I've had non this year..
    Because I still like her
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  9. #9
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    Well there is nothing wrong with having a few girls I guess when you say girlfriends was in like a week long or a few months?
    but when you will know when you find her.



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  10. #10
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rag6's Avatar
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    Just want to say that from post 1, yinz guys seem to be taking steps to working all these issues out. What is your biggest concern? I know its rough, but if you both are on the same page, you will be strong enough to hold it together. Good luck, and stay strong.
    Wanna bash at Greenwood Bashplex in Pittsburgh ???

  11. #11
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. kdvanb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tyler13 View Post
    Well there is nothing wrong with having a few girls I guess when you say girlfriends was in like a week long or a few months?
    but when you will know when you find her.



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    Some were a few days
    Some a few weeks
    Some a few months
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rag6 View Post
    Just want to say that from post 1, yinz guys seem to be taking steps to working all these issues out. What is your biggest concern? I know its rough, but if you both are on the same page, you will be strong enough to hold it together. Good luck, and stay strong.

    My biggest concern is that something will happen and things won't work out.
    We are on the same page, I think most people are surprised how we do it but I guess if you want to you can.
    Thanks for all the support everyone



    Some were a few days

    Some a few weeks

    Some a few months

    Personally the few day ones I wouldn't call "girlfriends"

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  13. #13
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. kdvanb's Avatar
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    LOL I guess not..
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  14. #14
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    tyler the way I see it, your doing just fine bud. Take it one day at a time and go from there. You sound like a stud and a good boyfriend haha @kdvanb i got the somewhat same problem dude.. haha
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  15. #15
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. kdvanb's Avatar
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    Lol..........
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  16. #16
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    Haha far from a stud but thanks


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  17. #17
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. kdvanb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tyler13 View Post
    Haha far from a stud but thanks


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    What's a Stud? LOL

    LOLOL I found me another girlfriend
    Almost 4 weeks.. Pretty good for me
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by tyler13 View Post
    Personally the few day ones I wouldn't call "girlfriends"
    Well, everybody has girlfriends! a.k.a friends who are girls... Lol
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  19. #19
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    Hmm lets see. Don't go to parties with single girls, don't have girls as friends. Everything else is against you.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowenuff View Post
    Hmm lets see. Don't go to parties with single girls, don't have girls as friends. Everything else is against you.
    I don't party I have friends who are girls.
    Jealousy isn't a problem.

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  21. #21
    RC Turnbuckle Jr. rjm2519's Avatar
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    Never give a female a reason to be jealous, and you won't have that problem. If they are jealous for no reason, then they have a problem!
    Donít handicap children by making life easy

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by rjm2519 View Post
    Never give a female a reason to be jealous, and you won't have that problem. If they are jealous for no reason, then they have a problem!
    That's definitely true.

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