The married mans thread about our hobby that our wives hate...

[hotrodgrafics29]

Ok, so I need some advice. I got my Slash a couple months ago and started hitting the track about a month ago. I was going on Sundays just for a few hours for practice but my wife gets ****ed about it everytime I want to go. I'm home with my wife and kid all week besides when I work, which is about 6 days out of the week but i'm home every night after work and spend time with my family. I'm a busy guy and own 2 companies that keep me really busy. My few hours a week I want to spend with my Slash is my hobby and my "ME" Time that I want and I really enjoy for just a little bit of time. My wife works only two days a week and one of those days is Saturday. I planned to go to the track on Saturday while she was at work and she still got ****ed. Of course I went anyways because I think she's being completely ridiculous and I'm not one of those guys that let's his wife walk on him.

HELP! How do you guys justify this to your wife or girlfriend, or am I the only one having this problem? My wife has even gone as far as to say that it's taking over our lives.. haha... ***?? Keep in mind, I only have gone three time to the track and it's only for a couple hours. What's your take on this???

She says this is a kids hobby and I completely disagree...

[ace184]

i guess im lucky that my wife doesnt mind the hobby. she said i can play with them as long as i dont hit her with one.....again, lol

[hotrodgrafics29]

hahhaa... nice! Yeah you are lucky! My wife is not a fan.

[ducati777]

You bout to catch a warning for them stars.....


But... the whole balance of marriage is a tricky one. My wife seems pretty understanding, but I try to keep it to 1 day a week. Typically I'll take off on Saturdays, go run all the cars during the day, be home for dinner.

All in all its a pretty wholesome hobby compared to my other options. Like I tend to drink too much when golfing, or hanging out with the guys. With RC I'm home at a reasonable hour, with almost zero chance to injure myself, its difficult to hold a beverage and drive... so when I'm RC'ing I'm on the straight and narrow.

Although I just joined a volleyball league... we'll see how this one goes over, since thats an evening away from home...

[.crispy]

Ha!

I do oval racing on Tuesdays and off-road on Saturdays when we're not busy. I take my eight year old about half the time on Saturdays.

She hates it! I've even said "You'd rather I was out drinking with the boys?"

Good luck. Let me know when you figure out a way to placate her...

[KillerRevo]

I just tell my wife "It's better than me going out to the strip club or bar and wasting money on drinks and women other than her." She's ok with my hobby, she's happy I found something I stick with finally. It's an addiction now. I have a revo 3.3, slash 2wd, rusty vxl, and I just ordered a merv. Merv will be here today, can't wait to hear her talking smack about "ANOTHER ONE!!!" But she's cool with it. I still spend time and money on her and my daughter. They both get what they want so it's all good. When I can afford a part or six I order it. LOL

[hotrodgrafics29]

Oh wow, whoops, didn't even realize I typed a expletive.. haha... See I agree, it's a completely wholesome hobby. I agree, I could be out with the boys and blow $50 - $100 at the bars once a week or I could go spend $20-$30 in broken part replacements that day and come out without beer breath. haha...

I don't know how to get her to be ok with it. She told me the other day it's taking over our lives. haha... I laughed and then she got more mad. haha... She told me she was not going to be ok with it, and I said, well I need a hobby, I need some "ME" time and this is my getaway to do that. I also have a son I bought a slash for and we drive together, it's a great bonding thing for me and my kid, but it doesn't seem to make a difference to her.

Crispy, I don't think I'll ever figure out a way... haha.. just gonna stand my ground.

Feel free to throw some tips out there, anyone that's figured it out. haha

[GorgeDad]

I feel for ya hotrod. Not like i'm a marriage counselor or anything, but if she has a problem with your RCing, sounds likes she's a little controlling and might have a problem with almost anything you did with your time other than stay home with her. Maybe empower her to have some input .... then give her a choice of RC and 4 other MUCH worse things.

In the end you can't force her, you need to find a way to let it be her decision. If that doesn't work do it anyway until she divorces you .... then you'll have lots of RC time. (just kidding)

[bajaboy501]

Wow, im lucky not to have this problem. My significant other doesnt get mad if I want to go to the races or try to bash. I try to include her most of the time (have you tried this approach not every time maybe every other). She only gets mad that I have too many cars lol. I have 2 slaahs I have an erevo brushless, a ken block gymkhana, a jato, and two 1/8 scale buggies had a tmaxx that I sold to make her happy. Sometimes its about compromise, if she enjoys taking pictures get her out to take pictures of you and the kid.

[Wileybrett]

Yea man. That sucks. My girl gets mad when i tell her i ordered parts, or when i "forget" to tell her and she sees the package i get. Ive actually started to get here into it so she didnt get all upset that i wasnt spending the time with her watching chick flicks. Lol.
No kids here, thank god. But when i do, theyll have there own cars. She'll be the odd one out.
The only time she gets a little peeved is when im in the middle of a fix, or a rebuild and i say im done, but dont finish for another couple hours. lol.

[hotrodgrafics29]

Gorge, yeah she can try and be a bit controlling at times... I make it a point to make sure I cut out a little time for myself though so that she doesn't get a lock down on me. haha... Yeah I think suggesting RC or 4 other way worse things is a great idea.. .haha.. My wife is great, don't get me wrong, but she definitely wants all my time, and likes to think she runs the world. lol.

Bajaboy, you are lucky dude! She actually got a new camera and loves taking photos, maybe I could do that, invite her out. That would be great! =)

haha, Wileybrett, I have the same problem. My parts that I forget to tell her about, she doesn't like it when they show up! hahaha... Thanks guys... Good advice!

[snicklefritz]

Thanks for bringing this up. It seems like everyone deals with this to some degree. Especially when I started with my Slash a year ago, I was immediately obsessed. There's just so many ways to customize it, upgrade it, change it, clean it, DRIVE it! And I was way overdue for ME time. After the first few months I had to back off a little bit just to show my wife that I still loved her more than my hobby. Most of my drive time I'm by myself, which I don't mind, and sometimes my kids want to come. I always let them come if they want. I try not to isolate myself to the garage when I'm working on it. If I'm not doing a dirty task, like painting, I'll bring my project and tools inside so I can be around my family. That seems to help. The way I see it, if we're just sitting on the couch watching TV I might as well be working on my slash.
Another thing, when I have a new part or new body that I want to work on and some other priority pops up, I try not to pout or complain. I know my wife doesn't want to hear that. She's been surprisingly cool about this whole thing. I think that I prepped her by years of talking about prerunners, sandrails, jeeps, quads, motorhomes, and other big ticket items that I want someday. In comparison the RC hobby is sooo much cheaper, and probably more rewarding.

[ace184]

i guess i didnt realize how good i have it, lol. my wife puts up with my gaming and now r/c. as long as she gets to go out to the movies every now and then shes happy.

[franzD1]

i`m in to the R/C hobby, beccause me wife wanted a chaeper hobby fot me to spend my time and mony on

i work from 09.00 to 17.00 5 days a week, come home. eat some, take a shower, check mail, / facebook ,and the traxxas forums..
and i go to the Gym from 19.00 to 21.00 5 days a week

every sunday i go to the track for some (3 hours) rc racing / bashing
& mondays after work i clean the slash, order some parts
friday i`ll get the slash ready for the weekend
saterday is family time saterday evening i`ll charge the 5 Lipo`s

this hobby cost me arround €20.- to €100.- a month
i like it & she happy when it doesn`t cost more money...

have to say that me wife did NOT like me former hobby

[GorgeDad]

I'm pretty lucky, too. I only bash so time constraints are not as bad as for racers. I do it with my kids so wifey has no problem with the time - and she kinda likes me at my workbench at night rather than out doing whatever else i could be doing thats detrimental to my liver.

Only been in this a few months and got a little grief for the $ spent rather than for the time. 3 trucks since Christmas, plus upgrades, spare parts .... you know the drill. Had to negotiate a slush fund out of my bonus - seems to have solved the problem for the time being.

[Abyss]

Got it pretty good I play video games alot and go out with the buddies once a week to bash around with our trucks. Only time the truck bothers her is when I need a new body or battery. Lol video games however caused problems till I agreed to start playing later at night, I do play alot though so didn't have a leg to stand on in that argument. For advice I say try to get her into your hobby or help her find one of her own. She seems a little unreasonable though as it doesn't sound like the hobby runs your life and there are ALOT of worse things to do with your spare time.

[MAMBA2200]

what i did was build her one of her own and now she has 3 rc cars an emaxx a 4x4 slash and a rock crawler so now my rc time is good for both of us because she sees it as time "WE" spend together

[cenracer1]

I seem to fit in somewhere between what most of you guys go thru. My wife has learned to live with the hobby especially since I've been doing this for over 30 years. I used to run much more than I do now, but I still go out every other saturday night for racing/bashing and every other sunday.. during the summer its a bit more because of flying season as well. I have included my wife and kids on occasion and while they had fun, they don't pester me to go that often. I do run weekly with my 17 year old, he likes all the cars and planes. My wifes biggest complaint is the amount of R/C that I have and how much space it takes up in the workshop. I try to make sure that r/c doesn't interfere with family time. Thats when you run into the biggest issues. Hotrod.. not sure what to tell you or say to you. My wife is also strong willed, but other than the amount of stuff I have, she hasn't complained too much. Its funny, when friends come over, she makes it a point to have me show them the collection...

[Greenskeeper]

Take your camera to the track! Find "That Guy" , the one with a table behind his trailer, that has a truck for every race! Take pics, and show her how little you are in It for. Worked for me!!!!!
One day I will have a trailer too!

Peace,
Story

[Jersey Crewmax]

Tried posting yesterday but phone got messed up so all I wrote was lost. I'll try again later today but im in for anymore stories. Not married but engaged so I'm feeling some of the same pain as the rest of you.

[GorgeDad]

Tried posting yesterday but phone got messed up so all I wrote was lost. I'll try again later today but im in for anymore stories. Not married but engaged so I'm feeling some of the same pain as the rest of you.

Maybe you can prepare her by having your rings come up the aisle in the back of an RC?

[pavmentsurfer]

I guess I end up somewhere in the middle also. My wife isnt a control freak but she feels its reasonable for me to spend every second I'm home (as in, not on a business trip, which is alot) with her. Which i disagree with. Her biggest issue with RC is the amount of time I spend on the forum. Hehe... she HATES that part and we have come to an agreement where I stay off the computer when our daughter is awake and I'm home.

Hotrod: IMO your wife is CRAZY if your spending time with your kids. WAY too many parents lets video games and TV raise their kids these days and have nearly no input at all. If she can't see the value in the time you spend with your kids no matter WHAT your doing... she needs help.
I don't see your side of the story as being unreasonable. You don't sound nearly as bad as most of us. Im curious, does your wife have hobbies of her own? Thats the biggest issue in my home. My wife really has no hobbies of her own. Ive been searching high and low, literally wasting THOUSANDS of dollars trying to find something SHE enjoys so she will be happier to let me go out and bash. I even built her a SWEET stampede but she just didn't get the premise of driving a small truck around with no real purpose... So far the best one she's come across is scrap booking.

I think its easy for us to get obsessed with this hobby. In which case its reasonable for a wife to be upset. BUT... if your not over the line... there is no reason a wife (or husband) should expect every waking second to be spent together. We all need our time alone. Maybe she has deeper issues in this regard and would benefit from talking to a professional. SOmetimes there are deeper feelings from past experiences that make her feel abandoned or left out or even unloved when you show interest and spend time doing something else. its just a thought.

[snicklefritz]

Take your camera to the track! Find "That Guy" , the one with a table behind his trailer, that has a truck for every race! Take pics, and show her how little you are in It for. Worked for me!!!!!
One day I will have a trailer too!

Peace,
Story

Hilarious. And the best advice so far.

[Smrtss1]

Get into drag racing with real cars! You'll be home wrenching on them in the garage the majority of the time and the cost will make her head explode. Run that idea across her and see how she likes it. If she doesn't allow you some "me" time you'll both go crazy, just keep explaining to her that it's something you want to do for you because it makes you happy.

Good luck.

[hotrodgrafics29]

I guess I end up somewhere in the middle also. My wife isnt a control freak but she feels its reasonable for me to spend every second I'm home (as in, not on a business trip, which is alot) with her. Which i disagree with. Her biggest issue with RC is the amount of time I spend on the forum. Hehe... she HATES that part and we have come to an agreement where I stay off the computer when our daughter is awake and I'm home.

Hotrod: IMO your wife is CRAZY if your spending time with your kids. WAY too many parents lets video games and TV raise their kids these days and have nearly no input at all. If she can't see the value in the time you spend with your kids no matter WHAT your doing... she needs help.
I don't see your side of the story as being unreasonable. You don't sound nearly as bad as most of us. Im curious, does your wife have hobbies of her own? Thats the biggest issue in my home. My wife really has no hobbies of her own. Ive been searching high and low, literally wasting THOUSANDS of dollars trying to find something SHE enjoys so she will be happier to let me go out and bash. I even built her a SWEET stampede but she just didn't get the premise of driving a small truck around with no real purpose... So far the best one she's come across is scrap booking.

I think its easy for us to get obsessed with this hobby. In which case its reasonable for a wife to be upset. BUT... if your not over the line... there is no reason a wife (or husband) should expect every waking second to be spent together. We all need our time alone. Maybe she has deeper issues in this regard and would benefit from talking to a professional. SOmetimes there are deeper feelings from past experiences that make her feel abandoned or left out or even unloved when you show interest and spend time doing something else. its just a thought.

Pavmentsurfer, I totally agree... My time spent on my RC is not unreasonable. It really isn't. Don't drive it that often at home, but do spend a little time in the garage wrenching on it because I think it's good to have a hobby and I just enjoy it. I go to the track once a week and now trying to do it when she's at work on Saturday. That is a big problem though, my wife doesn't really have a hobby of her own. I'm not sure why, but she just doesn't seem to be able to find one. I'm her hobby, I guess.. lol... Everybody needs some of their own away time no matter how much they love their wife.

I think it's a great way for my son and I to bond and that doesn't seem to matter, I don't want my kids staying home playing video games or watching tv all day and night, I want them to be outside, and this teaching them valuable skills I think. My son does chores and that pays for his broken parts. He understands that and I think it's a good thing...

Not sure really what to do... Had in my head lately to buy a boat, not an RC Boat, a real one, so I'm gonna hit her with that tonight and tell her since she doesn't want me doing RC, I'll go buy us a boat and see how that goes over. I'll keep you guys updated on how that goes. haha... Guessing she won't like that.

Love the responses, great advice and nice to know I'm not alone in the wife situation... haha

[akapants]

Maybe you can prepare her by having your rings come up the aisle in the back of an RC?

Everyone's advice is amazing! Haha, but I think this one would be pretty smart and I think it's a very funny and perfect idea!!!

I am only 17 and plan to be in RC's until the day I die. My dad and Uncles all have had and still have them. I think that this will be me one day. Haha, it sounds like a fun life to live! And I think that when I am in this situation many years from now, that I will look back to this wonderful thread and take everyone's advice, because I will most likely be in the same exact situation.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone in a lot of advance!

[dcsally97]

I'm in the same boat here. My wife is the odd one out with this hobby, or according to her "toys". I have 2 Traxxas trucks and my 4 kids have Traxxas trucks. Sure, I have spent a lot in my time owning them, but who hasn't? I love the time spent with the kids while driving our trucks. I have encouraged her to drive one and she will for a second then that's it. The money I spend on mine is usually extra earned money (odd jobs), birthday, or holiday money. I also scour CL for deals to see if I can barter for items/vehicles. Oh well, it won't change so I just roll with the punches. I make sure that I spend plenty of time with her too. Great thread btw.

[turners dad]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones also, our son races in the 4 states around us and she never complains. She does get a little grumpy when she 'see's' the RC parts bill run over $200 a month so I do most of it in cash when possible. lol
95% of the time we only race once a week, some nights we may not get home till 1 or so in the morning. The pit bags and cars are all over at my computer desk/indoor RC shop all in sight of the living room and she only looks at it once and a while and shakes her head. 3-11-12 will be our 17th anniversary, it also falls on a race day,,,,not going to push it but I bet she will get a new set of motor bearings for a present...lol
PS if anyone wants a hint on ordering parts without going on a credit card/debt card go to wal-mat and pay for one of those green pre paid credit cards. you can put up to $1000 for less than $5.00, then take it and you can charge up your pay-pal account and party hardy! Now delivery is a tricky one for most but I get home from work before she does so I have no advice on that part.
Now I myself would NEVER do the above stated method of purchasing RC parts, but I hear it works very well....lol

Good luck hope you get it worked out.

[turners dad]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones also, our son races in the 4 states around us and she never complains. She does get a little grumpy when she 'see's' the RC parts bill run over $200 a month so I do most of it in cash when possible. lol
95% of the time we only race once a week, some nights we may not get home till 1 or so in the morning. The pit bags and cars are all over at my computer desk/indoor RC shop all in sight of the living room and she only looks at it once and a while and shakes her head.
3-11-12 will be our 17th anniversary, it also falls on a race day,,,,not going to push it but I bet she will get a new set of motor bearings for a present...lol

PS for "entertainment porpouses only" if anyone wants a hint on ordering parts without going on a credit card/debt card,, go to wal-mat and pay for one of those green pre paid credit cards. you can put up to $1000 on it for a $5.00 charge. Then take it and you can charge up your pay-pal account and party hardy! Now delivery is a tricky one for most but I get home from work before she does so I have no advice on that part.
Now I myself would NEVER do the above stated method of purchasing RC parts, but I hear it works very well....lol

Good luck hope you get it worked out.

[MAXXXMASHER]

I guess I'm somewhere in the middle; she puts up with it, but probably wishes I didn't have them. I don't race, so I tend to have all day bash sessions when she goes to visit family or is out of town. We work different shifts, so I tend to do most of my wrenching after she goes to bed. She goes up early and I'm more of a night owl, so it works out good. I even got her a Stampede and painted her a pink-flamed body for it. She drives it about twice a year just to pacify me, but will never really be "into it." One thing we did was set up our own seperate play accounts for our own mad money to be spent on whatever we want, completely seperate from our regular expenses. I also sort of agreed to a ten model limit. That's fine with me, as I find if I have more than that, certain ones just turn into shelf queens anyways. When I find I'm not using one for too long, I sell it and get something else. Seems to be a good system for us. It also helps that her sister's husband is just as obsessed as I am, so she sees that its not just me. They visit quite regularly, so the women run the kids all weekend, and we run RC's all weekend!!

[Mr Wolf]

Mine supports it but thinks I'm more than a little obsessed (and she'd be right of course).

It helps having two boys who are also head over heels into the hobby so we out number her 3 to 1 when it gets rough...but I'll be back here looking for excuses for when they've grown up and left home!

[GorgeDad]

... go to wal-mart and pay for one of those green pre paid credit cards. you can put up to $1000 on it for a $5.00 charge. Then take it and you can charge up your pay-pal account.

TD,
Not to get off track here, but have you actually done this? I was under the impression that you could not put a gift card on a Pay-Pal account.

[turners dad]

TD,
Not to get off track here, but have you actually done this? I was under the impression that you could not put a gift card on a Pay-Pal account.

This isn't a gift card it is a pre paid credit card, gift cards are blue in color I think.
These cards are called "green dot money pac" cards and are green in color, you charge up the card, then send the number off the back to paypal.
It works, trust me

[Pandee]

My girlfriend thinks its boring as can be and knows I'm madly obsessed, but lucky I only work 10 day shifts and have 6 days off at home so while she's at work I rc all day she usually comes home with 3-4 cars sitting there and parts all over the place but she talks to me while I finish off, in saying that she never listens to me rant about my 100mph rustled build haha but a good woman I should wife her

[hotrodgrafics29]

Everyone's advice is amazing! Haha, but I think this one would be pretty smart and I think it's a very funny and perfect idea!!!

I am only 17 and plan to be in RC's until the day I die. My dad and Uncles all have had and still have them. I think that this will be me one day. Haha, it sounds like a fun life to live! And I think that when I am in this situation many years from now, that I will look back to this wonderful thread and take everyone's advice, because I will most likely be in the same exact situation.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone in a lot of advance!

Hahaha... You are correct, you will be in this situation one day! haha... =)

[hotrodgrafics29]

It's so funny to see how many of us are going through the same thing. Some of you are lucky that your wives are so cool! Not that misery loves company, but I'm sure glad to know it's not just me. I though there really couldn't be many others out there dealing with the same backlash as I'm getting for being an RC'er!

I don't think any of us will actually ever find the answer to this question. Women are strange and mysterious creatures! lol... I guess I'm trying to figure out a way to make her understand this is not just a kids sport.. haha.

[.crispy]

I also shoot USPSA and Steel. So the other day when she was complaining about another race day Saturday I said "Which would you rather I do? Spend $10-$15 on the race entry fees or shoot up $50+ worth of ammo?"

But she's on to me. She said "Doesn't matter, you'll do both anyway..."

[hotrodgrafics29]

I posted yesterday about how I was going to tell my wife I'm gonna go buy a boat because she didn't want me doing RC, needless to say that did not go over well at all! lol... I will be buying a boat though, haha... I guess sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches, she won't mind after we take a trip to the river...

[turok]

i have a tale for you. i had been with my partner for about 6 years and she told my that my rc hobby had got out of control. i was out everyday and if i wasn't out i was fixing or building my own rc car parts. around the same time i had over 40 cars so something had to give. things started to get heated so i sold some cars. but it wasn't enough for her so one day during a argument i took everything i had to do with RC into the garden and set it alight. after a couple of months i cleared out the fire bin and i found the remains of a rough rider alloy gearbox and my obsession/hobby started again. my other half is still with me 20 years later. the low point for her was my 40+ planes / near to 100 cars/ 3 rc bikes / 2 hovercrafts / and 4 submarines that never made it to the water.

[pavmentsurfer]

My wife and I solved the money issue by doing pretty much what MAXXXMASHER and his wife did. We have our main expenses in one account, then we remove an equal portion of cash each month that is OURS to spend however each of us wants. Its completely separate and neither of us can complain what the other one does. The other deal we made was that any money i make buying and selling RCs is mine. But any money I loose is mine also. Obviously.

A GREAT BIG help for us was when I built my RC shop in the basement. Having it all out of sight has kept her from freaking out that the house looks messy. That was a big one when my RC's were stored in every corner of the living room. Now, Everythign is out of sight, out of mind.

I have a 5 vehicle limit. This was both self and spouse imposed. It wasn't hard to agree to as I really don't see the need for more than that and buying and selling is a large part of the fun for me. This doesnt count my vintage and shelf queens though... they are "art" not RC's. And it doesnt count the trucks I buy and sell as they are not really "mine". They are just passing through. So, I maintain a fleet of 5 runners. If I want another one, I gotta sell something. Not really a huge deal overall. The hard part is going to be figuring out how to get a boat for my trip to myrtle beach this year. She may not appreciate a 3 foot catamaran laying around...