Real Classified Listings from papers around the country:
-Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
-Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel; 1/2 sneaky neighbors dog.
-Free puppies....Part German Shepherd, Part stupid dog.
-German Shepherd 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free
-Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat....been out a while...better be a reward.
-Snow Blower for sale....only used on snowy days.
-Nordic track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
-Hummers- largest selection ever- "If it's in stock, we have it!"
-Georgia Peaches, California Grown - 89 cents lb.
-Nice Parachute: Never opened - used once.
-Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay $7 -- $9 per hour.
-Open house: Body shapers toning salon. Free coffee & donuts.
AND THE BEST ONE
-For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.